The Adventures of Zhong Hui and Dr Pookie
by AsteriaLumina
Summary: Zhong Hui's teddy bear is a mystical ball of fluff that tells him to look up BubzBeauty on the mysterious 'compooper' that he had taken from Sima Yi. What will our handsome strategist's encounter with strange inventions bring? Sima Shi also gets nosy, and that's enough to brew up trouble. Super random humor fic. :D


**A/N: Hi guys! I was talking to some really awesome people that I roleplay with, and we came up with some ideas for a Zhong Hui humor fic! I'd like to credit those special people in this, and am thinking of making each chapter a certain style topic starring our lovable Zhong Hui. I really don't like the ending, but I'm hoping to improve at humor writing. Review and let me know what you think!**

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own anything. Sigh.**

**Chapter 1: Faux Bobs**

Zhong Hui was quite happy to say he was born blessed with amazingly good looks. Indeed, his luscious brown locks were of utmost perfection at all times of the day (and night), and his face… Well, his face was that of an Adonis! Or so he liked to tell himself. Lord Zhong Hui even had a teddy bear named Dr. Pookie who he asked for fashion advice from. Anyways, he believed he was quite the trendsetter, and that no one else compared!

Every day, Lord Zhong Hui sat in front of his full-size mirror, where a brown, fuzzy teddy bear was perched upon a throne-like chair.

"Oh, Dr. Pookie, tell me. Do I not have magnificent abs and beautiful hair?"

The teddy bear sat motionless, and stared blankly with his two ochre button eyes.

Zhong Hui clasped the bear to his bosom and sighed. "How I love your advice, Dr. Pookie."

Dr. Pookie soon 'told' Zhong Hui to look up 'BubzBeauty', a fashion guru with a slightly higher reputation than even the famed Dr. Pookie. So Zhong did as told and looked up BubzBeauty on the 'compooper' he had stolen from Sima Yi. He painstakingly poked at each key until he managed to type out BubzBeauty, and smacked the enter button with a determined face.

Thousands of search results popped up on the bright screen, and Zhong Hui clicked the first link that showed up. "Fake Short Hair (Cute Faux Bob)," he read.

'What is a bob?' he thought. Zhong Hui clicked the link, and watched as BubzBeauty created a short haircut that uncannily went well with Zhong's hairstyle. Intrigued, Zhong Hui set about copying the steps that the guru had shared, and reaped the benefits of his fashion-forward sense the next day at the military meeting.

"Zhuge Dan, I want you to mobilize your troops to this point of interest and rendezvous with Zhao at dawn and beat those motherf—"

Sima Yi's vehement words cut off when Zhong Hui entered the strategy rooms with a curled bob that eerily reminded Sima Yi of his grandmother.

The room was silent as Zhong Hui took his seat, all wondering what had happened to their strategist's hair. It was a crazily voluminous poof of wavy brown locks, rigid and unmoving even with Zhong Hui's energetic strut.

"What happened to your hair?" asked Wang Yuanji, her eyes as wide as saucers. Her eyes betrayed her mortification, and she stared at him along with the other thirty or so officials in the room.

"Well? I know it's quite admirable, but it's quite a bother to have everyone staring at me, you know!" Zhong Hui petulantly complained, glaring at each of the people with their eyes transfixed onto him.

Sima Shi was the first to break out his scrutinizing and brought everyone back to order as Sima Yi started up on his long-winded rant against Wu. However, as the officials filed out of the room at the end of the meeting, Sima Shi sidled by Zhong Hui.

"One day, you need to tell me how you achieved such strong hold and resiliency in your hair!" he quickly said out of the corner of his mouth, before running after Yuanji with the look of a schoolboy on his face.

Zhong Hui smirked, and sidled back to his rooms whilst constantly running a hand through his complex hairdo. Dr. Pookie sat on his usual little niche, the blank look ever present. Zhong swept the little brown teddy up into a tight hug and happily plopped down onto a cushion.

"Everyone quite liked my hair today, Dr. Pookie! You're a genius, yes you are, and yes you are!" Dr. Pookie continued to stare upward with his little button eyes, and Zhong Hui tightened the little blue bandanna around the bear's head as he went on about how spectacular he looked compared to the other officers.

Suddenly, the computer started to beep wildly and Zhong Hui's bear went flying into the air as the strategist jumped in utter surprise. At that moment, Sima Shi's head poked into Zhong Hui's rooms. His eyes widened in mortification as he spotted the MacBook sitting on Zhong's table and walked right up to the strategist.

"Is that Father's compooper machinery?" Shi whispered, staring at the sleek invention. He remembered his father running home with the thing cradled in his arms, crowing about the otherworldly qualities of the artififact. He didn't even know how to use it.

"Uh… Yes. It is. It has magical powers, I tell you! It'll definitely tell you how to style that flat thing you call your hair!"

Shi scowled at Zhong and tackled him to the ground, grabbing at his hair.

"That'll teach you to disrespect me, you little shit!"

"HEY! I just fixed the curls! Get off me!" yelped Zhong Hui, pushing at Shi and calling for Dr. Pookie for help.

Shi pinned Zhong Hui down and glared, "I'll keep your secret, IF you show me the magical powers of the compooper!"

Zhong Hui sputtered for a moment, knowing Sima Yi would have his head if he were to find out that his beloved thingamajig had been stolen. And his head was much too precious to be chopped.

"Fine! Fine, just get off me!" Zhong Hui yelled, making a grab for Dr. Pookie and hugging the bear close. The computer continued to screech wildly and Shi made a lunge, pressing random buttons until the sound stopped.

A notification popped up on the screen, and Zhong Hui read it out loud.

"'BubzBeauty has uploaded a new video.'"

The two Jin officers looked at each other with excitement, and clicked on the video with squeals of delight.

After that debacle, Shi and Zhong became best friends and were the most fashionable people in Jin. O_O


End file.
